Tacky Weddings | Top 15 Tips to Avoid Having The Worst Wedding

Weddings are beautiful. Fabulous. Romantic. Fun. Joyous. Invigorating. Spiritual. Hopeful. And, expensive.

I went to a wedding last night where the bride and groom were a young couple very much in love. In fact, they were high school sweethearts and recent college graduates. They had $5,000 and the use of a big backyard. Without appearing to bash the couple, who did the best they could, I wanted to address what "not to do" at a wedding on a limited budget. I mean, a dollar can be stretched and corners can be cut without making your event one of those tacky weddings we all talk about.

1. The Sun: Outdoor weddings are great. Everyone loves them. When planning a wedding, however, you need to think about the sun. Please do not sit 200 guests facing due west for a 5pm ceremony! Think it through, people.

2. The Officiant: Now, I do not want to get religious on anyone. You can have a full on Catholic ceremony or a justice of the peace, it doesn't matter to me. What does take on a bit of offense is when the officiant takes it upon himself (or herself) to start with a 15 minute speech on why all the guests need to convert to their chosen beliefs. Not cool.

3. The Ceremony Music: Everyone has their own taste in music. I am not insinuating that you have to stay within a tight little box for your selection but please chose carefully or risk being labeled a tacky wedding. If your wedding party walks up the aisle to ANY Willie Nelson song, it qualifies as one of the worst weddings.

4. The Attire: This is 2012. You do not have to wear white. You do not have to pick a morning suit for services before 7pm. Let your attire reflect your personality. Wearing a sheriff's badge on your lapel in lieu of a boutonniere is a bit much though.

5. The Attire (Part 2): Likewise, if you are a guest at a wedding, just because you know the bride and groom will have a western theme does not mean that you have permission to wear your new pair of Daisy Dukes. Not. On. Your. Life. You have now just become the worst wedding guest.

6. The Chairs: When you have an outdoor wedding and reception at the same location, it makes sense to re-use the chairs. Please designate, in advance, a few young men to move them all to the reception area. Women in high heels that are sinking into the grass and grandmas with walkers should not be told by the DJ to grab their chairs and walk 'em over. It just has bad wedding written all over it.

7. The Photography: There are many ways to arrange for photo time. You can take pictures earlier in the day and avoid interruptions during the event. If you believe in the whole theory that the groom can't see the bride before the big moment, you can take the majority of your pictures beforehand and then just a few group and couple shots immediately after the service. 2 1/2 hours of pictures, while your hungry guests wait, is UN-ACCEPT-ABLE! I mean, "second cousin shots"? Really?!

8. The Hors D'oeuvres: Its always nice to serve appetizers to your guests. It helps them mingle while the bride and groom are spending a few minutes alone immediately after the ceremony. Do not, I repeat, do NOT run out of them. It gets you on that bad wedding list. And, if you end up taking 2 1/2 hours of pictures, you WILL run out.

9. The Bartender: Did you catch that it was singular? It should read bartenders. If you have 200 guests, you MUST have more than one bartender. In fact, the general rule of thumb is 1 bartender per 75 guests for beer and wine events and 1 per 50 for a full bar. A volunteer bartender/friend is great, but cannot keep the line moving. You will end up with a stagnant line of complaining people across the dance floor, past the DJ, and around the pool fence, ending somewhere in the shadows of the backyard. Waiting over 45 minutes for one's first drink of the evening is not cool, especially when all the appetizers are gone once you finally get that drink (see #8).

10. The Drinks: Having a beer and wine event may be better for your budget, but not everyone drinks those two limiting options. Try to add one "signature drink" to accommodate those that prefer liquor. A pitcher of margaritas, a special flavored martini or even a big batch of sangria are all acceptable choices. And, please do NOT run out. Sending the groomsmen on a beer run before guests have even eaten dinner is just tacky, tacky, tacky. Plan on at LEAST 2 -3 drinks per person, more if you know your friends and family like to drink.

11. The Glassware: I suppose it is fine to use plastic cups for a casual outdoor reception but, unless you want that worst wedding honor, please do not have the DJ announce everyone must hold on to said plastic cup for the evening. One per person is just tacky territory. Buy extra. Lots and lots of extra. And, not red ones.

12. The Dinner: When you invite guests for a 4pm ceremony, they probably have not eaten since noon. Plan accordingly. Do not start the buffet line at 7pm. Its not polite. Its, you guessed it, bad wedding etiquette. And, while we are at it, do not run out of food, plastic utensils or napkins. It is the utmost in tackiness when the last guests through the line get tiny scoops of beans, no pasta salad, only one roll for mini sandwiches and are forced to share a fork.

13. The Lighting: Now, I am no electrician, but even I know that when you run the DJ's gear, the decorative Christmas lights, the strobe light on the basketball court, um, dance floor and all the house lights off the existing house circuitry that you are bound to blow a fuse. This means your guests will eat their food in the dark. Test it out the night before or call the electric company and get a temporary pole for the occasion.

14. The Dollar Dance: Everyone has their own opinion, but, to me, dollar dances are the epitome of a white trash wedding. It becomes significantly worse, however, when the DJ announces that the bridal couple is accepting nothing smaller than $20 dollar bills. Wow! That is tacky weddings no-no #1.

15. The Mingling: As a newly married couple, your one job after finishing your meal is to mingle. You need to go to every table throughout the dinner and thank your guests for coming. They came to see you and to celebrate with you. Not to view your back from afar as you drink beer with the wedding party all night - that is, until you run out of beer and go on the aforementioned beer run.